Sending Love to Charlee

I've been working away on Charlee's blanket every lunch hour at work and every evening, once the kidlets are all tucked in for the night.  After about 40 hours all together (yes, I'm a slow crocheter), I'm finally finished it!  

This process has been so good for me.  It's given me a way to relax and pour my love for Charlee into something productive.  I let go with all of my negative thoughts and replaced them with positive energy with each stitch.  Every stitch, I would think about how it might bring her comfort, if she's feeling sad or has a boo-boo.  I would think about how it will keep her warm and protected.  I would think about how it would embrace her, as if receiving a big hug from me.   I would think about having her here with us after much waiting, much hoping.  I would think about the outcome we hope for - for us to be her adoptive family.  I would think about if we aren't chosen, how I will love her still...and she will know this.  I would think about how much it will mean to her to know how much I love her...how much we all love her.  

Charlee's blanket, freshly washed and drying in the gorgeous fresh air today.

Charlee's card I made her with some scraps from her blanket

I wrote a poem about the blanket and what it means to me to give to her and what I hope that it will mean to her

I always have a hard time when it comes to signing the things that I send.  I want to sign them "Mommy & Daddy", but  I can't, since I don't want confuse her.  So, for now (and hopefully only for now) I sign everything "Auntie Vanessa & Uncle Shane"

Little note for Charlee

Charlee's goodies I'm sending tomorrow.  Tyler also made her the sweetest card with pictures of all of us with Charlee.  I forgot to take a photo of it before I put it in and the package is all wrapped up.  

I'm going to have a hard time tomorrow.  It will definitely be a bittersweet moment when I put her package in the mail.  I've been pouring so much of myself into Charlee's blanket and it has helped me to make a connection with her.  It's the only tangible thing that I have (besides a few photos) that makes me feel comfort.  It's especially hard, since I don't know if it will be coming back to our house - WITH CHARLEE! Whatever the case, I take comfort in knowing that it will bring her comfort.