PRIDE Training

We had our first night of PRIDE training tonight.  It's a program offered through our Social Development that is mandatory if you wish to foster or adopt.  It's usually taken before the home study is started and is meant to give a background of what could be expected if you foster or adopt.  This way, you can make an informed decision and be sure it's something that is right for you and your family.

You can see an overview of the training here:
http://www2.gnb.ca/content/gnb/en/departments/social_development/foster_care/overview_of_pre-servicetrainingsessions.html


Our situation is a little different where Charlee is family and needs to be placed as soon as possible.  Since PRIDE wasn't being offered again until Spring, Social Development went ahead and started our process in the Fall.  As said before, we have been approved for 7 1/2 weeks now.  We had signed a statement promising to complete this training when it came available.

The training is 27 hours long, 3 hours on Thursday evenings for 9 weeks.  I think the program will be interesting and helpful.  It will also be nice to build a support system of others who are also going through the same process.

Since we don't have much family in Fredericton available to watch the children while we are at the training, I asked Tyler's former sitter if one of her girls would be interested.  She said that between her and the girls (she has 4 daughters, 3 of which are at home), they would watch the children for us.  She insisted that I not pay them.  We are so appreciative and told her that I insist we pay.  We came to an agreement that I would do their family photos for them sometime this summer.  I'm so excited, since they are all gorgeous and what better way to repay someone than to give them lasting memories of them with the ones they love? :)

One of her daughters came tonight with her little guy.  Tyler was so excited to have a visitor.  All I can say is THANK YOU, thank you, and thank you some more.  This family is truly amazing and we are so blessed to know them.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I consider myself a very patient person.  Patience is a virtue - I know this...however, the waiting is soooo hard.  Not even the waiting, but the not knowing.  Not knowing whether Charlee will be our daughter or our niece.  Not knowing when.  Not knowing what to do next.

We're not able to contact Charlee, other than sending her gifts and cards and even those go through the agency in Toronto.  They've been gracious enough to ensure that she gets them.  At Christmastime, we sent her a package with some clothes, a hat I made for her, a book, and a cabbage patch doll.  I also sent her a Christmas card with our photos in it.  I also sent a card to the agency thanking them for all they are doing to find Charlee her forever home and to her foster family thanking them for taking such good care of her (complete with some chocolates).








I had held off on sending anything for a while because I honestly thought that the process wouldn't take this long.  However, with Easter creeping up and still no word, I sent Charlee another package with some more goodies and gorgeous little outfits.

This has been a long process and we've been very patient.  Thinking positive about either outcome has helped to get me through.  Keeping busy with our children, my job, photography, and up until recently, school (I'm finished - YAY) has helped me to push through the days.  I've asked our social worker if there is anything else we can do, but all we can do is wait - then wait some more...

I've been having a hard time dealing with all this waiting and no contact.  I asked if we could Skype with Charlee, so we could see eachother.  I know it would be hard to keep a 19-month-old's attention for long, but even 5 minutes, 2 minutes, anything would be better than this - Nothing.  The agency told me that they'd look into it, but we have yet to hear anything.  

My Nanny T always told us that having a positive attitude, even in the most dire circumstances, can help with your mood and even the outcome of situations.  This is advice and a way of thinking that I've carried with me throughout my life and has helped me through many trials.  I've been thinking positive about this situation and the possible outcomes.  Being this positive all the time is exhausting.  However, it's not as exhausting as thinking negatively.  So, I continue to think positive thoughts.

I've also started Charlee's baby blanket.  It has helped me to connect with her, when I have no other way.  It's helped me to pour my love out to her and let go of the negative thoughts with each stitch that I crochet.  It's a true labour of love.  I chose this shimmery white because it reminded me of white fluffy clouds, and the colours of the rainbow since it reminds me of happiness, and colourful, vibrant, and cheerful childhood.  That and it just makes me smile when I look at it and I can't wait to give it to her.  

A New Life - DIY Dresser Redo

I've been in the market for a dresser for a while now for the girls' room.  I found this beauty on kijiji.  It also came with a nightstand and twin bookcase headboard (we put it in the basement for now, since Alyse is in a crib still).

Here's the beaut!  The previous owners had already refinished this dresser and it's signed by a little girl back in 2002.






We started out by sanding it down and getting as much of the pink off as possible.  Shane then gave it a couple of coats of white paint and we let it dry overnight.  The next day, I sanded them down again.  Shane told me to "sand the crap out of them".  He wasn't paying attention, though, and apparently I sanded them a bit too much.  I'll tell ya, they were super smooth, though! While he was out in the garage giving them a couple more coats of white, I was inside doing this:

 I cut fabric to size with an overlap of about 2 inches.  Slapped on some Mod Podge and layed the fabric onto the drawer front.  Once it was all tucked and looking pretty, I poured some over top and tried to cover it all to give it a good finish.The mod podge was a bit hard to work with with the tiny brush I was using, so I ended up just using my hands.  It was pretty messy, but it did the trick!











Here are the finished products.  I can't wait to get them into the room!  

 I really want to pretend that I was doing this project for myself and stick these in my room!  :)  I'm in love!

A Little Pick Me Up

Tyler is one of the sweetest little boys I know.  I know, I know...you're thinking - every mother thinks her child is the sweetest (or smartest, or cutest, etc, etc).  Honestly, though, this child has the kindest heart, sweetest smile, and best little personality!

The adoption process has been long and once we started the application with Social Development, we started to discuss the possibility of Charlee joining our family with the boys (Alyse was only 9-months-old at the time and wasn't able to put in her two cents).  Marcus is a pre-teen and while excited about the prospect of another sibling, he's more excited to be getting his new room in the basement; all-to-himself!  

Both Marcus and Tyler just adore their little sister, Alyse.  I know, without any doubt, that their hearts are already wide open for Charlee.  

Sometimes, out of the blue, Tyler will start talking about Charlee.  Sometimes funny comments, sometimes sweet, and sometimes questions.  We had talked about how Charlee lives in Toronto, so if she comes to join our family, then Mom and/or Dad will go to Toronto to "pick her up".  

One day, a few months back, I have the following conversation with Tyler:

Tyler: Mom, can we go pick up Charlee today?

Me: Awe, Buddy.  Not today, Hun.  We're still waiting to hear if she'll be coming here, so she's going to stay with her foster family for now.  

Tyler (with a disappointed, yet thoughtful look on his face): It's just...it's just that I love her sooooo much!

Me: I know, Buddy.  She knows that you love her and hopefully we'll get to meet her soon.

I wish I could've recorded that conversation, since he little voice was just the sweetest.  That audio has been replaying over and over in my mind and brings me peace to know that I have children who are so compassionate, loving, and care about others in this world. 

I was fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed all three of my children.  Alyse hadn't nursed, though, since she was 4 -months-old.  Although I was discreet, Tyler was still aware of what was going on when she did nurse and knew that Alyse was getting special milk from me.  Right around Christmastime, Tyler and I had the following conversation:

Tyler: Mom, what kind of milk does Charlee drink?

Me: She drinks milk, like you.  

Tyler: Oh, you mean chocolate?

Me: No, I doubt she drinks chocolate milk because she's still just little.

Tyler: Oh...so white milk.

Me: Mmmhmm.

Tyler: But, when she comes here, then she'll drink YOUR milk...you know, from those (he said pointing to my breasts).

Me (trying to hold in the chuckles): Oh no, Buddy.  She won't be drinking MY milk...she's too old for that, and besides, I don't have any left!

As mentioned in my last post (my very first post), it's been over 6 weeks since we were approved and we are still anxiously awaiting to hear if we are chosen for Charlee's forever home.  Two weeks ago, on a Saturday, Tyler and I had the following conversation:

Tyler:  What are we going to do today?

Me: I don't know, Ty.  What should we do?  Maybe we'll go outside?

Tyler:  Can we go pick up Charlee today?

Me: Awe, Buddy!  I wish we could, but we still don't know for sure if she's coming here to live with us.  But, even if she doesn't, then we'll still get to meet her.  I'm sure it'll be soon.

Tyler: Okay.  It's just I've been dreaming about her.

Me (heart melting): Oh, really.  

Tyler: Yeah, I dream about her about every night!

Me: Awe, that's so nice!  Are they good dreams?  What are you dreaming about?  Are you dreaming that she is coming here?

Tyler: No.  She's already here in my dream.

Me:  Oh.  What happens in your dream with Charlee?

Tyler: We play.  

Honestly, I looked over to Shane who was sitting on the couch and just about lost it!  It was hard to hold back the tears.  It was quite evident that this process is taking a toll on Tyler's kind, big heart.  

Tyler asked me tonight if I was forgetting something.  I asked him what it was.  He said, "You're forgetting to go pick up Charlee".  I explained to him again that we don't know for sure if she's coming and that I'd never forget to go "pick her up". :)

Catching Up on Charlee's Adoption Process

In August of 2012, we found out that we have a niece, Miss Charlee May.  She has been in foster care since birth and is being well taken care of.

My brother felt he is not in the position to care for her and neither did her biological mother.  Shane and I didn't hesitate to apply to adopt her and were excited to start the process.

Because Charlee is in Toronto, our local Social Development in New Brunswick has been handling our application and the adoption process.  After many questions, they now know everything there is to know about us and deemed us "fit" to adopt, which is a good thing considering we already have three beautiful children, Marcus (11), Tyler (5), and Alyse (14 months).  I suppose that means we're good parents. haha.

The kicker - "Cousins" on Charlee's maternal side of the family have also gone through this same process to adopt Charlee.  They had started the process when she was just 5-months-old.  It was put on hold while the agency tried to find Charlee's biological father.  My brother was contacted when Charlee was 11-months-old and it was confirmed that he is in fact her biological father right around her 1st birthday.

This is where we are now:
Both families have been approved to adopt Charlee.  It's been 6 weeks and a day, since we were approved.     Charlee is now 19-months-old and is still residing in the same foster home she's been at since birth.  We aren't sure what is taking Toronto so long to come to a decision, but we are glad that they care about Charlee enough to make the right decision for her.