The adoption process has been long and once we started the application with Social Development, we started to discuss the possibility of Charlee joining our family with the boys (Alyse was only 9-months-old at the time and wasn't able to put in her two cents). Marcus is a pre-teen and while excited about the prospect of another sibling, he's more excited to be getting his new room in the basement; all-to-himself!
Both Marcus and Tyler just adore their little sister, Alyse. I know, without any doubt, that their hearts are already wide open for Charlee.
Sometimes, out of the blue, Tyler will start talking about Charlee. Sometimes funny comments, sometimes sweet, and sometimes questions. We had talked about how Charlee lives in Toronto, so if she comes to join our family, then Mom and/or Dad will go to Toronto to "pick her up".
One day, a few months back, I have the following conversation with Tyler:
Tyler: Mom, can we go pick up Charlee today?
Me: Awe, Buddy. Not today, Hun. We're still waiting to hear if she'll be coming here, so she's going to stay with her foster family for now.
Tyler (with a disappointed, yet thoughtful look on his face): It's just...it's just that I love her sooooo much!
Me: I know, Buddy. She knows that you love her and hopefully we'll get to meet her soon.
I wish I could've recorded that conversation, since he little voice was just the sweetest. That audio has been replaying over and over in my mind and brings me peace to know that I have children who are so compassionate, loving, and care about others in this world.
I was fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed all three of my children. Alyse hadn't nursed, though, since she was 4 -months-old. Although I was discreet, Tyler was still aware of what was going on when she did nurse and knew that Alyse was getting special milk from me. Right around Christmastime, Tyler and I had the following conversation:
Tyler: Mom, what kind of milk does Charlee drink?
Me: She drinks milk, like you.
Tyler: Oh, you mean chocolate?
Me: No, I doubt she drinks chocolate milk because she's still just little.
Tyler: Oh...so white milk.
Me: Mmmhmm.
Tyler: But, when she comes here, then she'll drink YOUR milk...you know, from those (he said pointing to my breasts).
Me (trying to hold in the chuckles): Oh no, Buddy. She won't be drinking MY milk...she's too old for that, and besides, I don't have any left!
As mentioned in my last post (my very first post), it's been over 6 weeks since we were approved and we are still anxiously awaiting to hear if we are chosen for Charlee's forever home. Two weeks ago, on a Saturday, Tyler and I had the following conversation:
Tyler: What are we going to do today?
Me: I don't know, Ty. What should we do? Maybe we'll go outside?
Tyler: Can we go pick up Charlee today?
Me: Awe, Buddy! I wish we could, but we still don't know for sure if she's coming here to live with us. But, even if she doesn't, then we'll still get to meet her. I'm sure it'll be soon.
Tyler: Okay. It's just I've been dreaming about her.
Me (heart melting): Oh, really.
Tyler: Yeah, I dream about her about every night!
Me: Awe, that's so nice! Are they good dreams? What are you dreaming about? Are you dreaming that she is coming here?
Tyler: No. She's already here in my dream.
Me: Oh. What happens in your dream with Charlee?
Tyler: We play.
Honestly, I looked over to Shane who was sitting on the couch and just about lost it! It was hard to hold back the tears. It was quite evident that this process is taking a toll on Tyler's kind, big heart.
Tyler asked me tonight if I was forgetting something. I asked him what it was. He said, "You're forgetting to go pick up Charlee". I explained to him again that we don't know for sure if she's coming and that I'd never forget to go "pick her up". :)
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